FIVE THINGS . . .
Five Things I Just Don’t Get:
1) Sex. Seriously. Has anyone ever watched people have sex? It's perhaps the strangest thing almost EVERYONE does. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for it . . . it's just peculiar. No one ever looks good having sex, but somehow all parties involved seem to feel quite delighted at having accomplished it.
2) Why some people have to feel superior to as many people as possible.
3) Quantum Mechanics (the math is just beyond me, although one day I hope to have enough time to learn the math skills necessary to understand it)
4) Why Hollywood producers spend millions of dollars to make really, really crappy movies.
5) Why US citizens will spend millions to see really, really crappy movies.
Five Things, Other Than Money, I Wish I Had More Of:
1) Sex. (Maybe I can just answer "sex" as the first to all of these questions)
2) Friends.
3) Time.
4) Books.
5) Memory for my computer, or my brain. Whichever.
Five Least Favorite Words or Phrases:
1) "It's delish!" Finish the damn word, you lazy twit!
2) "That's so gay," handled as an insult. What insufferable dolt decides what is and is not "gay?" And why do they think those things that ARE "gay" are a bad thing?
3) "Scottie." I cannot stand being called this, although I have no particular reason to be offended by it. It just really irks me. Maybe that nickname is "gay?" ;)
4) I can't think of any more, although no doubt tomorrow I'll hear a dozen I'll wish I'd written down now.
5)
Five Famous People I’ve Spoken With In Person.
1) David Mamet (book signing)
2) James Ellroy (book signing)
3) Dudley Moore (he pushed me out of the way at an airport, once. It was not a friendly conversation)
4) Actually, I think that's it . . .
5)
Five Things I Do Nearly Daily That I Don’t Enjoy:
1) Wake up (I'm with sleepyjane with this one)
2) Lift heavy objects (it's only a small part of my job, but it's one of the worst parts).
3) Smile at someone being unpleasant to me (it's only a small part of my job, but it IS the worst part).
4) Trim my nose hairs. (Really, does anyone else need a hedge trimmer to get rid of visible nose hair?)
5) Brush my teeth. (I like having clean teeth, but the sensation is highly unpleasant to me)
Five Things I Wish I Had The Chance To Do More Often:
1) Read.
2) Write.
3) Talk to friends.
4) Meditate.
5) Cook.
Five Things I Have Actually Done That Sound Like Lies:
Being a diagnosed psychotic, perhaps I have an advantage, here, but I think I can do it even if I avoid the simple answers.
1) I was interrogated by the US secret service for jokingly sending a letter threatening the President of the United States. I used crayon, and soaked it in vodka. I didn't like the man, and wouldn't have minded if someone else did the job, but had no intention of actually following through. It was so clearly a joke I spent about the first hour really confused by why they were so upset.
2) Ran through a sheet of glass by accident. Yup, just like you see in the movies, only with slightly more blood.
3) Started an underground newspaper my senior year of high school. Our final issue had a picture of the school with "For Sale" signs in front of it and contained nothing but the entire faculty mailing list for the school. Yes, I passed out the home addresses of every teacher in the school to a very, very large number of students.
4) Lit a desk on fire in the middle of class.
5) Had sex in the bushes during a 12K race, then finished the race. Needless to say, my time wasn't so great, but as an amusing side-note, the woman with me did not finish the race.
Wow, I was a bit of a jerk in my teen years and early twenties . . .
Thanks to sleepyjane for tagging me. Peace to all of you.