Maybe I am overanalyzing this. Maybe it's a simple case of fried nerves and too little experience making new friends. I haven't made any new friends in over two years now, and that was an online friendship that went sour.
You see, I had this online friend that I met through IRC (which is where I went for the express purpose of making friends). We had some laughs, told each other stories about our lives, emailed stupid forwards to each other. Stuff like that. We even exchanged Christmas gifts and birthday gifts. During this time I was in the midst of the long, slow breakdown that eventually led me to where I am now. So, one day I finally tell this person that I saw a psychiatrist and I was getting some much needed help coping with the world and told all about my breakdown. I really laid it on the line, leaving no detail out. Well, this person never contacted me after that phone call. Never emailed, disappeared from IRC, and never responded to regular letters, either.
I haven't returned to IRC since.
But maybe this one will be different. She's already read my diary, so she knows I'm a basket case. And she seems ok with that, too.
I guess, in a sense, I'm writing this to her, hoping she'll understand why I'm playing a little cautiously this time around. I'm nervous. My online friend experience hasn't been good, and my new friend experience isn't very up-to-date. I need to take things a little slowly. Be patient with me, and you'll find I'm really quite a nice, fun guy to be around.
And whatever you do, don't think I'm being cautious because I don't like you. Nothing could be farther from the truth. I think you seem like a wonderful, caring person with a good sense of humor and a heck of a sharp head on your shoulders. I couldn't ask for more in a friend than that.
And that is all I have to say, for now. I have a dentist appointment tomorrow morning so I suppose I should get some sleep. Otherwise I'll miss the fun drilling.
Good night, my favorite peeping toms and tammys.